Preventing Domestic and Family Violence

Written by Acacia Soares - Content Writer at Strength to Strength Mental & Physical Healthcare

A spike in domestic and family violence this year has been identified as a national emergency in Australia, with coercive control as the dynamic sitting behind it says an educational webinar.

Early this month, a webinar on practical intervention tactics to end domestic and family violence was facilitated by Sallianne McClelland and Rotary International DG Christine Owen, uniting experts Jess Hill, Dannielle Miller OAM, and Annabelle Daniel OAM to speak on the issue.

Walkley award-winning journalist, author on domestic violence and Premier’s NSW Woman of the Year, Jess Hill said coercive control is a pattern of behaviour and strategic tactics that are used over time to subordinate, exploit, micro-regulate, surveil and entrap an intimate partner and in families, their children.

“I really put a lot of focus, as do a lot of people who talk about coercive control, on entrapment as the defining feature of coercive control,” she said.

“I've heard women who are some of the most strategic and most thoughtful and intelligent people I've practically ever met say that they did not have a safety plan for themselves.

“They had one for the kids, but they didn't have one for themselves because they didn't think they deserved one.

“And that's what coercive control does to someone.”

The NSW Domestic Violence Death Review Team Report (2019-2021) found that 97 per cent of intimate partner violence homicide victims experienced forms of coercive control in emotional and psychological violence before they were killed. 80 per cent of these victims were women.

According to the Australian Femicide Watch and The RED HEART Campaign, 39 Australian women were killed by male violence in 2024.

CEO of Walk The Talk, best-selling author and teen educator speaker, Dannielle Miller said that for young people experiencing coercive control, there are a lot of extra layers of complexity that adults don't even experience.

“If we break up with a partner, usually we won't have to see them every day in class,” she said.

“For a young person who wants to break up with their partner, if they tell their parents, they might get in trouble for dating in the first place.

“They fear their parents might say ‘You need to change schools to get away from this person’, they fear their peer group will gossip and take sides.”

The Australian Bureau of Statistics, Personal Safety Survey revealed that coercive control is overwhelmingly used by men against women, with 1 in 4 women and 1 in 14 men experiencing intimate partner violence since age 15.

“Adults joke about first romances like they're harmless. Mine was traumatising.”

Dannielle Miller said a 20-year-old woman shared her experience of coercive control from her first relationship when she was 14 years old.

“She said… ‘At first, I found the fact that he texts me all the time really flattering, and I liked the attention,” Miller quoted.

“But then he was controlling…He was always accusing me of cheating on him, and he convinced me that I'd be nothing without him.

“After about six months, it escalated to the point that I felt I had to tell him everything I was doing.

“If I went somewhere without telling him, he would tell me that he would send his mates to where I worked in my part-time time job to bash me.

“I had no idea it was controlling at the time because I had nothing to compare it to.

“Adults joke about first romances like they're harmless. Mine was traumatising’.”

The Government campaign, “It's not love, its coercive control”, was released on 1 May, published with a media release by the Deputy Premier, Attorney General and Minister for the Prevention of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. The campaign aimed to raise community awareness before the commencement of the Crimes Legislation Amendment (Coercive Control) Act 2022.

“NSW is the first Australian jurisdiction to introduce a standalone dedicated offence of coercive control,” they said.

“The Crimes Legislation Amendment (Coercive Control) Act 2022 will criminalise coercive control in current or former intimate partner relationships in NSW starting from 1 July 2024.

“If found guilty, perpetrators can face up to a maximum of 7 years in prison.”

CEO of Women’s Community Shelters, Chair of Domestic Violence NSW and NSW Coercive Control Taskforce, Annabelle Daniel OAM said men often disclose to her that they lived in families where there was domestic violence with children.

“And that is something that we also need to be conscious of busting the shame around,” she said.

“Where these men feel that there is a safe environment to disclose that they did experience that in their childhood, and they're starting to process that and reflect on that, and put that within the frame of domestic and family violence.

“It can actually be really powerful to take some positive action to do something.

“We have many men on our shelter board who've been in that situation and say, ‘I lived through this as a kid and I want to make sure that the next generation of kids doesn't have to.’”

Specialist Homelessness Services (SHS) Annual Report said family and domestic violence are the main reasons women and children experience homelessness in Australia.

“We know that the density of alcohol stores in your local area is directly related to the number of physical domestic violence incidents that occur in that area.”

Jess Hill said we need to focus more on practical prevention measures to address factors of family and domestic violence that are in our control to regulate and monitor.

“Accountability is prevention,” she said.

“And that's accountability whether it be through police in the courts, whether it be on you know, behalf of corporations, even banks saying that if we catch you using financial abuse or sending abusive messages with your transactions, we'll suspend or cancel your account.

“It should be through the child support system and perpetrators being punished for refusing to pay child support or for manipulating that system.

“Governments have so much they can do, so many levers at their disposal.

“Now one of those that we've really been advocating for this week, is age verification for access to mainstream porn.

“But other things that really have been almost taboo in terms of what we've been talking about, ways to fix domestic violence.

“We know that the density of alcohol stores in your local area is directly related to the number of physical domestic violence incidents that occur in that area. I think we have these massive spikes on Grand Final nights, you know, you're looking at a terrible intersection between excessive drinking and problem gambling.”

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare reported that around 2 in 3 women moved away from home when their relationship with a violent previous partner that they lived with, ended. Of those that moved away, 7 in 10 left property or assets behind.

Annabelle Daniel said a practical way to prevent further domestic and family violence is for shelters to engage with their local communities.

“Local doctors, local psychologists, women's health centres, the local hospital, police,” she said.

“We build strong relationships every time we establish a shelter, and all of those provide referral points and women can refer themselves too by reaching out.

“I think getting our voice out there into local communities and letting people know that there is a shelter nearby is firstly informative and educational.

“But secondly, busts the shame about reaching out for domestic and family violence services.”

DG Rotary International Christine Owen said we need to raise domestic violence issues with politicians and keep the pressure on for well-thought-out strategies that will bring the change we need.

“We will continue to do all that we can to ensure that all women have the right to live safely, to be respected, to raise their children without fear, not to be subjected to the weaponisation of judicial and child support systems, to participate in communities with equality and equity and to have fair access to opportunities as well as safe and respectful workplaces,” she said.

If you or someone you know is impacted by domestic or family violence, please contact:

1800RESPECT - 1800 737 732
Kids Help Line - 1800 55 1800
MensLine Australia - 1300 78 99 78

If you are in immediate danger, call 000.